


you can call us freaks

by punkenigma



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, And coffee, Bisexual Evan Hansen, F/F, Galaxy Gals, Gay Jared Kleinman, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kleinsen, M/M, Trans Evan Hansen, Trans Jared Kleinman, We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, also yes the life cafe and doa record co are references, and house shows, aro/ace connor murphy, bowie is back and reasserting their role as president of the Jared Kleinman is Valid club, coffee shop AU, evan runs on redbull and anxiety, gay/ace alana beck, haven't decided - Freeform, i just really love kleinsen, i was a barista what do you expect, its a deh fic did you expect it to be happy, jared and zoe are best friends bc fuck you thats why, jared runs on coffee and dry wit, let me have this, neither is healthy, no beta we die like men, not sorry, pansexual zoe murphy, possibly smut?, sorry in advance, the coffee shop au i couldnt keep my hands off of, the murphy sibs have a band, this is probs gonna seem pretentious as hell and super hipstery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:16:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkenigma/pseuds/punkenigma
Summary: Jared Kleinman's super power is seducing people with the perfect cup of coffee. Evan Hansen's super power is being unnoticeable, especially to his crushes. But when the Murphy siblings start looking for a new member for their band and Evan happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (or was it right place/right time?), both boys might get more than they bargained for in the end.~or the one where evan is musically talented and jared is gayer than anticipated





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alright so i didn't plan on starting a new multichapter fic, but here i stand bearing gifts  
> i have no concept of a posting schedule or how long this will be so we're gonna say once a week for now and see where the wind takes us  
> i should definitely not get my hands on this au  
> the title is from 'hey! we ok' by never shout never

If there was one thing that Jared Kleinman knew above all else, it was that if you wanted the perfect cup of coffee, you went to the Life Cafe during his shift. Three days a week you’d find him behind the counter, mustard yellow apron tied at his waist, brewing a dark Americano for a drowsy businessman. Afterwards, he would go through a rush of lunchtime customers at Barry Allen-like speeds, toasting seven croissants, retrieving four slices of quiche, and mixing variations of teas and smoothies and other beverage concoctions that may or may not be absolutely disgusting to everyone except for the customer. That was his superpower. Some people had photographic memory, others could do long division entirely in their heads, but Jared could be the Super Barista at any time of day. 

“One regular iced macchiato, whole milk with a shot of caramel coming right up. That’ll be $5.50.”

The woman nodded, handing a crisp ten dollar bill to Jared . He spun around, grabbing a plastic cup and heading to the coffee machine. He caught herself humming some bubblegum pop song that had played earlier in the cafe and rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching up. Rattling around behind the counter, he took no notice to the chime of the door opening. There was giggling and the padding of feet and suddenly it stopped. The silence was quickly disrupted by a singsongy cheer,

“Jared! You’re back!”

Jared looked up from the syrup display where a lanky girl hopped up and down. Her hair cascaded in dark brown braids down her shoulders and her honey brown eyes shone crystal clear in the sunlit cafe. Jared’s smile grew, showing all of his teeth.

“Zoe!” he responded, handing the drink to the woman. Zoe hopped on the counter, swinging her legs over to face him. She stuck her hand into the display and grabbed a cakepop. Jared swatted at her, amused. Mouth full, Zoe asked,

“So? How was it? When did you get back?”

Jared shrugged, wiping the counter down with a damp rag. Humming, he said,

“It was good. Good school, good people.”

Zoe let out a snort, taking another bite of the cakepop. She leaned forward, resting her head on her hands.

“Man, you are  _ full _ of information.”

Jare rolled his eyes, gesturing wildly. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say, it wasn’t bad. It was just a school.”

“ _ Just a school _ ? You’re gonna be spending the next four years of your life there!  _ C’mon _ Jared, details! Any cute guys?” 

Jared threw his hands up in irritation, causing Zoe to laugh. 

“There were  _ plenty _ of cute guys, Zo! But why can’t I just focus on the summer? I want to focus on our last summer.”

Zoe sighed, her shoulders lolling forward. She twisted one long braid between her fingers. Suddenly, she perked up, reaching into the tassel bag at her side. 

Zoe shared the same affinity for grungy thrift stores and garage sales that Jared had. A regular outing for them consisted of scouring every shop within a fifteen mile radius. While Jared usually collected household pieces - an old writer’s desk, books that smell like cigars and dust, records that sound amazing despite their slight warping - Zoe was more intrigued by the eclectic choices from the eighties and nineties (but it was not uncommon for random accessories from the twenties to be thrown in from time to time).

“Oh, here!” She exclaimed, shoving a flyer at Jared. He took it and read the front.

 

D.O.A RECORD COMPANY OPENING NIGHT   
9 PM - 2 AM 

ENTERTAINMENT PROVIDED BY 

VODKA AUNT

ZOE MURPHY, CONNOR MURPHY

& CARTER SHORE

 

Jared looked up, beaming, to see Zoe anticipating his response. He turned and walked toward the cafe bulletin board - a 24” x 36” slab of cork attached to the cream walls, littered in month old pamphlets for festivals, book clubs, and bargain sales -  and pinned up the flier. Zoe squealed and ran over to him. Clasping her hands on Jared’s shoulders, she exclaimed,

“Sick, isn’t it? Con and I are finally getting the recognition we deserve!”

Jared chuckled, nodding. He walked back to the counter and began restocking the pastries while Zoe continued to babble excitedly. 

“-not to mention Carter’s  _ sick _ solo in ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl-’”

Jared looked up, suddenly more intrigued. Noticing this, Zoe sighed.

“Carter is  _ fine,  _ Jare. He’s totally okay. Over it. Done-zo.”

Jared nodded.

“Oh, good. Yes. That’s what I wanted. Done-zo. Good. We can both move on. Um, just how ‘over it’ would you say he is?”

Zoe rolled her eyes.

“Very. Look, come to the gig. You’ll see for yourself. He’s been hanging out with this girl after pretty much  _ all _ of our rehearsals. Grace, I think her name was. New in town or something. C’mon, you can meet her tonight.”

“I wouldn’t miss your gig Zo, what kind of best friend do you take me for? I’ll be there. No worries. Look for me front row.”

Jared smiled, nodding for reassurance. Zoe smiled back. She sighed again, pulling her keys from her pocket. 

“All right, gotta zip. Nine tonight! Don’t forget!” she called, heading for the door. Jared laughed, waving her off.

“Never!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nick and nora’s infinite playlist who? I only know Lonely Anxious Kids At A Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this at 1am and I don’t beta cause I’m lazy so sorry bout that. I really like how this chapter turned out though! Hope you do too!

Pulling his jacket tighter around him, Jared made his way toward the entrance of the building. People were lined up outside, the same type that he always saw at events. Ripped jeans, flannels, boots that looked ridiculously uncomfortable, and overall just gave off an aura that Jared would not get along with them. He pushed past the front entrance and slipped into the side alley where he spotted Connor’s hundred year old Ford Transit, fucked front bumper and all. Jared snorted to himself as he walked toward it. He could hear muffled arguing and rolled his eyes. Zoe and Connor were in the back, Zoe tuning her guitar angrily. He rapped a knuckle against the side of the van. The arguing stopped and the siblings’ heads snapped up. Zoe smiled.

“Jare!”

She reached out a hand as a pseudo hug. He took it,

squeezing tightly. Nodding at Connor, he said,

“Murphy.”

“Kleinman.”

“Alright boys, don’t let your emotions get the best of you,” Zoe teased. The two boys snorted and rolled their eyes. Hopping out of the van, Zoe gave Jared a proper hug before pulling back and grabbing her guitar from where it was sitting. Jared looked around, eyes searching and hands shoved in his pocket. Connor sighed, knowingly.

“He’s inside, dude.”

Jared’s eyes snapped back to him. He coughed and nodded.

“Oh, uh, cool. Yeah. Is his…”

“Yeah, Grace is here too.”

Zoe squeezed his shoulder, giving him a tight-lipped smile.

“Why don’t you head in? We go on in five anyways.” 

Jared nodded and turned toward the door.

“Oh and Jare?”

He paused.

“Yeah?”

“Try and have fun, yeah?”

 

//

 

He found himself in the front at first. The crowd was relatively calm (though whether that was emotion or weed Jared wasn’t quite sure). Vodka Aunt was a local band and therefore not extremely well known, but Jared knew that would change. He’d had to quell Zoe’s – and Carter’s – fears numerous times. Connor had never been too stressed about popularity, as long as he could make music.

As the band started up, Zoe announcing their names and beaming at the crowd, Jared couldn’t help but grin back. She was so in her element and at ease and to him, it was a wonder that she was single. In high school the two of them had made a pact that if they were still single at forty, they’d get married and take advantage of the tax benefits.

_ “We’re basically married already, you just happen to be gay.” _

Jared chuckled at the memory. Then, of course, his eyes drifted to Zoe’s right. Carter rocked out on his bass, providing vocals here and there and Jared’s breath caught in his throat. He had forgotten how  _ good _ Carter looked when he performed. He thought that a month apart after an objectively terrible breakup would make going to shows easier but he had  _ forgotten _ how much he loved Carter’s enthusiasm on stage.

He stumbled back slightly, running into the girl behind him. Catching her, by the arm, he sputtered an apology. She smiled reassuringly and shouted,

“It’s okay! I’m clumsy anyways!”

Jared gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. She was pretty. Her curly brown hair was in two small pigtails on the top of her head, tied off with bright scrunchies. She had a smattering of freckles on her tan skin. She stuck out a hand.

“I’m Grace!”

“Jared.”

She smiled at him again before turning back to the band. It was then that Jared decided to take his leave, pushing through the people until he made it to the side of the venue where a man mixed drinks and paid him no mind. Leaning against the counter, he waved the man down. 

“Rum and Coke please.”

Nodding, the bartender turned away and began mixing. Jared looked around. The only other person sitting was a man, maybe college aged, hunched over a notebook and scrawling away. The bartender brought Jared his drink and he nodded a thanks. The other man didn’t notice and didn’t seemed at all distracted by the noise surrounding him. He stopped writing briefly and began tapping his pencil relentlessly on the wood. Jared couldn’t tell from his distance, but it seemed like it was a pattern, or rhythm. Sipping his drink, he mustered up the gusto to walk over. The man didn’t notice him approaching. Straining his eyes, Jared peered at the notebook. 

“What’re you working on?”

The man jolted, scrambling to close his notebook and turn around, subsequently knocking it from the table. Jared blinked, watching him stumble. He shook his head lightly before bending down and picking the notebook up himself. The man snatched it from him quickly.

“Sorry for scaring you. I, uh, didn’t mean to cause an aneurysm.” He tried cracking a smile. The other looked at him timidly, eyes dilated in fear. He coughed.

“I’m… I’m Jared by the way,” he stuck out his hand, “and you are?”

The man stared at his outstretched hand, blinking rapidly, before looking back up. He put his hand down.

“Uhm… Evan. I-I’m, um, Evan.”

Jared grinned.

“Nice to meet you ‘Um Evan,’”

Evan nodded, fingers fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. Like the rest of the crowd, it was a flannel, but instead of being one of thirty layers or tied around his waist, it was dark blue and buttoned all the way to the top.  _ Cute _ .

“Did- did you need something?” His eyes widened. “Oh that sounded rude I’m sorry I didn’t mean that I just meant, uh, if something like happened? That you needed? Or, oh that doesn’t make sense I mean—”

Jared laughed, cause Evan to stop. He looked even more on edge than before. 

“Dude, I just wanted to talk to you. I’m not here to like, steal your lunch money or anything.”

“...Oh”

“Yeah ‘ _ Oh _ ’” 

Plopping into the seat adjacent to him, Jared continued.

“You were just so…intense, writing in your notebook, hunched over. It’s like you were in your own little bubble, despite all of  _ this. _ ” 

He enunciated by gesturing to the chaos around them. Evan smiled timidly, letting out a breathy laugh. He held his notebook close. Jared watched him with warm eyes, sipping his drink. 

“I was just working on, uh, a song. Well, the lyrics mainly. It’s kinda hard to think of chords when I don’t, like, have my guitar. And it’s loud.”

Jared chuckled.

“And it’s loud. So why come here then? I mean I’m pretty sure this event has been advertised basically everywhere for the past week.”

Evan shrugged.

“I didn’t want to be at home. I needed a distraction.”

“This is definitely a distraction alright,” Jared sighed. He turned toward the stage and locked eyes with Zoe, who smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Jared responded the same, albeit more exaggeratedly so. Evan’s brows furrowed.

“Do you know her?”

“Oh yeah we grew up together. She’s my best friend. Zoe, by the way. Became losers in solidarity in middle school, along with her brother, Connor. He’s the one that looks like he’s still hung up on the death of Kurt Cobain.”

Evan laughed for real. It was a nice sound.

“You could’ve just said ‘the drummer,’ y’know?”

Jared gave a toothy grin.

“You still knew who I was talking about, though.”

Raising his hands in defeat, Evan’s laughter melted into a bright smile and  _ oh. He’s really cute. _

Jared felt his face heat up and looked down, hoping to explain it away as the alcohol. Clearing his throat, he changed the subject.

“So d’you live around here? I thought I knew just about every face in this town but I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered  _ yours _ .”

Evan flushed and began stammering again.

“Oh, uh, yeah- I mean no- I mean! I, uh, I live around here but I’m not… I’m not  _ from _ here. I’m new.”

“And what brought you to this sad excuse for a city?”

“A fresh start? I mean, until school starts, that is. I just came for the summer.” 

Jared nodded.

“You mentioned school?”

“Oh, yeah! I’m gonna be a junior? In college, I mean. I’m not, like, super young or anything.”

“Same here. I actually just finished getting my associates at a community college. Next step: Bachelors.”

Evan nodded, looking down at the table. There was a brief silence (well, as silent as a concert can be) while Jared bounced his leg incessantly. 

“What’re you studying?”

“Huh?” Evan looked up, “Oh, uh, Environmental Science, with a minor in Creative Writing. You?”

“Computer Science, hopefully. Dunno about a minor, though.”

“Oh you work with computers?”

“I mean sorta? I can code shit and backdate emails but I’m not necessarily hacker-level…  _ yet _ .”

Evan giggled, pushing some hair behind his ear. Jared grinned at him.

“But what about you? Environmental Science and Creative Writing aren’t necessarily similar.”

“Oh, uh, yeah! I just… I’ve always liked writing? And I’m good at it, at least I think so, but it isn’t really… reliable? For income? So I figured I’d major in Environmental Science, work as a Conservationist or a Sustainability Consultant or something that provides money for food a-and stuff.”

Jared nodded, snickering.

“How very  _ Marvin Gaye _ of you,” he mused. Evan blushed, looking at his lap. Jared could get used to this. 

As if on cue, from the stage Zoe called out giving a final thank you and, once again, stating the members’ names. The place began to clear out around them. Evan began to shuffle, putting his pencil behind his ear. Jared startled and hopped up from his seat.

“Oh, you probably need to get going. Sorry for keeping you so late, and being a distraction and all.” He said, gesticulating wildly. Evan shrugged, smiling.

“I came out here for a distraction, remember? And it was nice, I had a good time talking to you.”

“Oh yeah…” Jared laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“ _ Jared! _ ”

His eyes widened and he muttered an ‘oh shit’ before turning around with a bright smile. Jogging toward him was Carter, curly black hair shoved into a beanie and denim vest hanging over one of the T-shirt’s that Jared remembered begging him to throw out. He was smiling.

“Oh hey! Didn’t see you there!”

Carter stopped and pulled him into a hug, catching Jared off guard. He stiffened. Only after being released did he notice the girl coming to Carter’s side. It was the same girl as before.  _ What was her name again? Gabbie? Gigi? Something with a ‘G’.  _

“Oh  _ you’re _ the Jared that he keeps talking about!”

Carter’s brows furrowed as he looked between them. 

“Wait, Grace, you guys know each other? That’s sick!”

Jared coughed.

“Uh, no, not really. I mean, we just met… earlier. During the set.”

“Yeah he nearly knocked me on my ass,” Grace laughed, winking at Jared. He smiled tightly. Carter paused, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Who’s your friend?”

“What?”

Evan shuffled next to him.  _ Oh. Right. _ Jared laughed lightly.

“Oh yeah! This is Evan, he’s new in town.”

“Right on! What brings you here dude?”

Evan’s eyes widened at the sudden spotlight. Blinking, he stuttered,

“Oh, um, yeah, uh, just a— just a change of scenery. Nothing… major.”

Carter nodded, turning his attention back to Jared.

“Well, we better get going Jareb- _ er- _ dude. We just, uh, Grace and I—”

“We made plans to meet up with some of my friends after the show. Party some!” Grace cut in, snaking an arm around Carter’s waist. The two boys responded in tight-lipped smiles and nods. Giving a mock salute, Jared replied,

“See you on the flip side,  _ dude _ ,” before walking off toward the stage. Evan froze, not quite sure what to do. He looked between Jared and Carter and Grace before waving curtly and rushing after the shorter boy. He approached the other timidly.

“If you’re here to pity me, don’t bother.” Jared shot, catching Evan off guard. 

“I, uh, what? That’s not what I… I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Jared looked up at him, eyes glossy. He swallowed hard before nodding.

“Yeah I’ll be… fine. I always am.”

“Can I ask who that was?” Evan pushed. Jared let out a weak laugh. 

“Yeah, that was my ex and his new  _ girlfriend _ .”

“ _ Oh” _

“Yeah, ‘ _ oh _ ’”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jared shook his head, shoulders drooping. Evan chewed at his lip, unsure of what to do. After a brief-yet-awkward silence, he replied,

“I should probably get going. It’s getting late.”

Jared nodded, not looking his way. He gulped and rocked on his heels.

“Jared? I know it’s… I mean, I know I’m… uh… can I—can I get your number?”

Head snapping up, Jared’s eyes locked with his. It was the first time all night that he had noticed the single blue splotch in Jared’s otherwise chestnut eyes. His cheeks were pink and splotchy instead of in a uniform blush and his mouth…. broke out into a toothy, wide, weird,  _ wonderful  _ grin. 

“Yeah, of course Ev,” he responded, voice quieter than it’d been all night. Evan smiled back before wrestling his phone out of his back pocket. He unlocked it, handing it to Jared. He stared intently as Jared typed away, tongue poking out from between his lips. After a moment, he smiled and handed it back to Evan in completion. Startling both boys out of their mutual silence, Connor pushed back into the building, causing the door to slam into the wall.

“Kleinman, are we taking you home or what?”

“Uh, I never said I needed a ride?”

The tall boy rolled his eyes.

“Let me rephrase: Zoe said to haul ass to the van.  _ Pronto _ .”

Jared sighed and nodded, waving him off. He stood straight and stretched (he barely reached Evan’s shoulders and it was  _ precious _ ). The two boys faced each other.

“Well, it was nice meeting you Ev. Good luck on your music!”

He pulled Evan into a quick hug before running off, waving. Composing himself, Evan watched the door close behind him. He looked down at his phone.

**New Contact:** **Marvin GAYe**

Evan rolled his eyes, shoving his phone back in his pocket. Looking toward the door one more time, he sighed.  _ What a nerd. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes they’re legal drinking age! Jared finished his Associates Degree (a 2 year degree) and Evan is a junior in college making them both ripely 21! No worries homies! 
> 
> Also the Marvin Gaye reference is bc he was very outspoken about environmental rights and activism and even wrote music on the subject back in the seventies and I’m a nerd so I know these things
> 
> Also judge Carter’s lingo usage all you want but I say “rad dad” and “dope” on the frequent so I’m projecting in that sense
> 
> Leave feedback please! It keeps me motivated! Much love xx


End file.
